Monday, May 08, 2006
it's hard to just cut strings off from someone you once felt so attached to; someone who you shared so much with, whom you did so much for.. whom you have loved more than all the love in the world put together.
i still do smile like i did in the past, i still do joke, and laugh and hang out with my girlfriends. but the only difference now is the absence of love and concern i once felt so showered with, along with the embracement of hugs and warmth i felt from him.
i thought it would be easy to make it through.. with just a few emo wrecks and i'll be fine; but it was more than that. it took more than just tears and pain. it was the courage that i needed to put something, which i depended on like my life, down, and start all over again.
xmas, birthdays, sentosa, theplayground, that night out, jogs..
it's probably hard to forget.
you were the one that i baked a cake for on your 16th birthday.
you were the one that i celebrated my birthday with.
you were the one that made me feel so special on Valentine's.
you were the one i brought home to show my mum.
and, you were the one that i would go to when i needed someone.
to how much we have gone through together,
so it's just gone like that?
i'm a strong person. i was never known to shed tears. not in front of a crowd, or at least, to even feel emotional at all. i'm someone happy, bubbly, full of spunk and yeah, sacarstic at times. i don't feel comfortable crying in front of friends, or even my parents.
but because of you, you made me feel how it was like to be so weak and to feel the real pain of heartbreak. so i guess, this was what you meant for as
for my own good?it's kinda a fucked up logic that i'm trying to accept. a logic that probably is blurred now for the moment when the heartache is still blinding my vision.
be it whether i was only your passing phase, or the special one,
- i'm moving on.
i won't be brave enough to take up so much hurt the next time round when you ask me back and this happens all over again. i don't want to be built up all over again and in the end, i'll just be let down like i did before all the same.
it's hard enough to just make it through this once;
what more a second time.
but i'll love you as i've always did.i know i'll be smiling again once i make it through this rain.
believe in me friends, and watch me.
» 1:52 PM